Niche is stronger than love

& what’s left of love when there’s no common project/enemy to fight? I finished The Glass Castle. The kids went their own ways to follow their sense of belonging. Jeannette the author left her Park Avenue home and husband for the West Side into a place she that reflected her – but not before finding out that Mom had been sitting on a piece of land, while the family starved, worth $1 million. Why? Because she’d been told, never sell land. It stays in the family. What’s the value of dirt if you can’t eat it when you’re hungry. How could she really relate to people who spent more on lunch than her father had on the family shack – that he never paid off. And the power of love? Sometimes ruinous. The people we love can talk us into doing some very self-destructive things, like giving them our hard earned money to make them drunk so we have to delay our dreams they can beat us some more. Family values?Fortunately,reinvention is easy. Just move. And people accept you for who you appear to be & who you say you are. When Jeannette was interviewing a woman who “oversaw the International Best Dressed List,” Jeannette tailored her identity to fit expectation of the woman, asking Jeannette a few questions. No need to lie about place. “What’s the main industry in Welch?” “Coal mining.” … “And does your family own coal mines?” “No.” (volunteer no information)(her father couldn’t keep a job in the coal mine) “What do your parents do?” “Mom’s and artist…and [my father is] an entrepreneur.” “Doing what?” “He’s developing a technology to burn low-grade bituminous coal more efficiently.” – one of the dad’s oft repeated pipe dreams. And was easily accepted. Dad died at 59; Millionaire Mom remained squatting in NY. 2 out of the 3 kids did well, but even the one who didn’t went off to the state she felt she most belonged in. Place is powerful. Go where you fit.

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