& accepting this model sure contributes to mental and emotional health when you love and the other doesn’t love you back.
“When you don’t have love, & you ask the other person to give it to you, you are a beggar. It was your projection that the other had it. If you have a wrong projection, what can the other do about it? Your projection has been broken; the other did not prove according to your projection, that’s all. The other has no obligation to prove himself according to your expectation” – or hope.
I’ve been working on making explorations and accepting the outcome instead of getting all bent out of shape when it isn’t mutual. I try to find out when it is before too much emotion gets invested. Then, simply move on and enjoy the rest of life without moping or spoiling the joy of being healthy and alive – and rowing on the open ocean (esp on rough water)
This piece is in the Mental Health “My Piece of Mind” show, currently showing at the downtown Vancouver Public Library from now until May 23. My accompanying statement re mental health:
Mental health is inner serenity. This means that no matter what is going on in the outside world, trying to remain emotionally quiet and looking on the event with interest and objectivity, deciding with the thinking brain what should be the best response to enable the most enjoyment from the situation. I like to use all my resources to turn negatives into positives, or walk away from negatives if possible. I remind myself that we cannot always change something outside ourselves, but only possibly be an influence, and to quietly persist when attempts seem to fail. Often, continued efforts do improve conditions and bring more happiness. I try to navigating life with stillness and beauty to help others relax, presenting and giving the best of myself that I’m capable of at that moment. Then I have no regrets, which further feeds inner serenity.
I have passed the initiation of my new rowing club by successfully getting back into my boat (or more precisely, the club boat I was using at the time). After 8 happy years at the Vancouver Rowing Club in Coal Harbour, I’ll now be ocean rowing at Locarno – whenever I want. so much open water has spun me into a fever of excitement. Hopefully there’ll be no mysterious disappearance at sea. I’d like to stay alive to collect royalties. (buy my e novel Pool Party & help me stay financially afloat)(the rowing shells are very bouyant). Yes, you can sit sidesaddle on the gunwale and have tea – or write a novel – without hanging onto the oars, and not fall in. I look forward to my first real row on Fri. This was supposed to have taken place yesterday, but I didn’t activate my card correctly, so I ended up walking along the out-tide shore in a wet suit. I didn’t know legs could sweat so profusely. (I stripped out of the top) Certainly worse things could happen. I anticipate new adventures taking a passion to a bigger playground
– a 1984-ism. What I’ve been doing. Work, play; not sure. Writing – finishing up next novel, illustrating another children’s book, the usual lifting of weights, and a bit of paid work. Doesn’t leave much time for thinking of insightful things to share. But I’m still around.
A friend with extensive medical conditions – cognitive impairment being one – recently needed to go into the hospital. Instead of a staff logging into a computer storage file – I’m sure one exists – to read patient’s medical history, an intern was sent to ask the patient about her conditions/medical history and make hand-written notes!!!!! What if the patient had forgotten to mention something critical? Or ever got tired of repeating the littany? Hospitals have excess staff to re-record the wheel!?! I won’t even get into freedom of an individual paitent’s choice. A person cannot run to his regular doctor, who is familiar with the conditions, tests, and treatment, if under the “care” of “someone” else, like a hospital, who is not familiar (maybe cz they don’t look at the medical records) with the condition or treatment, nor will take patient’s requests seriously. What can they (patients) know – esp if they’ve admitted cognitive impairment.
And then there’s the missing plane. If not for the tragedy of the passengers involved, I’d applaud its heroic snub on today’s Big Brotherish surveilance systems. How that could be done, though, IS such a mystery. Even if a couple of countries conspired to hide evidence – radar images, pictures of an explosion, wreckage, pictures of debris – (hard to conceive in this satellite age), none of the passengers texted a friend/family on the ground about one sign of something irregular, such as an unscheduled landing or a crash? All the cell phones were confiscated? Not all at once, surely. Someone could have sent one last message? I bet the UFO believers have their proof that the flight was obviously abducted by aliens.
But yet, we still have the technology to download an app so we don’t have to wait on the phone an extra minute while calling a cab and to tweet a drop into an ocean.
Until now, my pet never let me capture him on camera while he played upside down on his back. You’d think, after 24 years, I would have given up trying, but I am persistent – and was quite surprised that he didn’t instantly right himself when I approached with a potentially life-threatening device while he laid vulnerable.
When we’ve seen the same old thing enough times, we may quit being hyper alert and just relax and watch. We’ve also learned, Why Not Try the Same Thing Over Again because we’ve seen, esp when working with computers, that sometimes the results are different (contrary to the popular “definition” of insanity: trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results). Or maybe being insane has some cool rewards (in this case having a photo) with little effort even at doing something we’ve failed at before.
Maybe this is a quality writers have to have. And after 30-some years, submitting a novel for publication worked too. (Pool Party)